Attack of the bog

As some of you know, i've been training for the Race for life for some months now. And each week i've been spending some quality time at the beach running *cough*walking*cough* to get fit for the 5km race. Alas, my training has not exactly been that great, and quite frequently I become distracted either by the seashells, or the fact that the tide has started to close in behind me. Fortunately i've always managed to escape with my life. Today I nearly lost more than my life... Who would have thought walking on the beach could be so hazardous!

Picture this....

There I was, walking the walk, with my MP3 player blasting and not a soul in sight (or should I say sole? :P). The beach is deserted and the heavy rain has just managed to stay away. The sky is dark and overcast, droplets of rain are splashing onto the many puddles beneath my feet. My trousers and trainers become drenched with sea water as I try unsuccessfully to evade to water pools. Nevertheless, I bravely soldier on, with mobile phone (just in case).

So today, I wasn't feeling particularly energetic, and I have to say, I was struggling to do the whole 5km. Weary and with heavy heart and not reaching my target, I headed back to the mainland. Once more evading the hoards of jellyfish that littered my path... and by jelly fish, I am actually referring to seaweed, but jellyfish does seem more dramatic. :P

*cough*

So, as the storm clouds ebb and float away as i'm nearing the 'finish line' so to speak, the Rocky theme starts to play on my MP3 player. This song motivates all my senses and I feel the adrenaline bursting through my veins, subconsciously spurring me on to finish the 'last lap' in style. As I miraculously avoid the swirling water, I head inland to the grassy knoll's embedded by streams of sand and water. And prepare to do a Rocky! But instead of climbing the steps, my biggest feat is actually jumping over mounds of grass and dirt not more than half a foot deep. As the song reaches it's peak, so do I, and feel myself 'flying' over the stumps. Suddenly and obviously due to my getting carried away, I find myself falling off the clump of dirt and land in a quagmire. That familiar sound of vacuum sucking at your trainers as your feet are sinking in the mud. In panic mode, I flail my arms like a windmill as to not fall backwards. Okay why do people do this? It's not pretty and to be honest makes you look a bit ridiculous! I mean it's not as if that exuberant flailing of the arms will a) stop you from falling b) make the wind current from your flying arms rush up to cushion your fall... Yet I still did it!

So, there I was, trainers being sucked into the mud without anyone around to assist me. I panicked slightly.. yes I admit it. How the heck do I get myself out of this. As my sinking stabilised and the adrenaline coursed through my veins, I thought about how the hell to get out of this predicament before the tide came in. Then it hit me, like a thunderbolt. A plan, it wasn't a great one, mind you, but it was all I had. So I gathered all the energy I could muster and prepared myself for the worse... the worse of course being me falling on my ass!

*insert dramatic music for effect*

I flexed my knees in readiness, then lifted my foot out of the quagmire! It worked! I smiled in relief as I gently lifted my other foot; clinging onto the shoe for dear life with my toes, so they wouldn't get left behind and headed inland once more!

As I neared the entrance to where I parked the car, and immediately spotted several horses. My first thought was, they're obviously there to help me on my quest. :P So that must mean that i'm onto phase two! And getting stuck was my second test. So, once more, I must mount my trusty stead and ride roughshod... not over the minions this time, but over the quagmire in search for Shirtless Shep. Wish me luck! ;)

So the moral of the story is, "Don't get too over zealous when listening to the Rocky theme tune!" ;o)

Patience is a virtue.

They say that when on a quest, one apparently has to overcome many obstacles that crosses their paths. The journey, so i'm told, can involve the person being tested to their limit. Or involve overcoming certain obstacles, thus building their character, along with, (I hope) enjoying little adventures en route. Oh how true that is. I think today was such a test...of my patience. Given the long journey ahead, I envisaged that this would be the first barrier I would have to overcome, and i'm sure my patience will continue to be tested for many months to come.

Oh before I start, you might want to go and grab yourself a cup of coffee as i've gone off on a tangent again!

You'll be pleased to hear that the girl in our 'office', seems to have quietened down. So much so we don't hear a peep from her these days. I wonder if she was also on a quest? I sincerely hope if that is the case, that her own quest in finding her conscience, has been successful. I can only hope that I to can be as successful as her. ;o)

So, as for my quest, today's lesson revolved around patience. Work has been whumping the crap out of me, and will be for the foreseeable future. My boss has decided that even though we have ten times more work to deal with than any of the other ten departments, that I can carry the load all by my lonesome. He has, in his infinite wisdom decided to take away one of my staff who assists me with the day to day running of the business. Subsequently, that person has now been transferred elsewhere. Nice! This must be payback for the whole 'clothing attire' business. So, given the amount of work to be done, I asked him (as diplomatically as I possibly could) if he wanted to stick a broom up my ass, so that I could sweep the floor as well... ;o) He simply rolled his eyes, telling me that i'm being overly dramatic again... Now I wonder where he gets that idea from. *cough*

Moving swiftly on...

So as my staff member has now left *sigh* and in such a short space of time i've had everyone and their mother come and see me today, or people phoning me.... every two minutes. It's got to the stage where people are even queuing at my desk! I'm thinking of getting one of those machines they have in the supermarket. You know the ones I mean, where they grab a ticket and wait until their number is called... it could come in handy. ;o)

So as the quest for shirtless Shep comes ever closer to fruition, *cough*in my dreams *cough* I've been attempting to go a different route to spice things up a bit. And I have to say i've had lots of fun with it along the way :o) As some of you know, Zach (from attack of the show) is quite the fan of Stargate Atlantis. So much so, that he wrote a lil rap number and posted it onto you tube. Great video and lyrics, and quite catchy. To cut a long story short, (don't die of shock, I do short occasionaly) ;o), he begged to get a bit part on Stargate and succeeded. With a trip to the set, David Hewlett obviously wanted to get in on the act and in response to Zach's rap, came up with his own little ditty and a hilarious shuffle step, which was subsequently leaked ;) on to you tube. In response to the leak, David sent a heartfelt apology to his fans. *sniff* Tissue anyone?

As i've always loved poetry, and the whumping crew were losing their squee (due to the long wait of S4), I decided to spice things up a lil bit, and did my own rap...sorta, but you'll be pleased to hear it hasn't been posted on to you tube. Instead I posted it to Joe's blog. Poor Joe, he does suffer for his craft ;o) But, in my defence, a quest cannot be interrupted once it has begun. So i'm very sorry Joe, you might have to suffer a little longer :o) Anyway, as you can imagine, being an extremely serious individual, and not wanting to embarrass myself or my long-suffering family in public, there was no mention of hot, sweaty or shirtless Shep at all...not even one line.

*cough*

Before I leave you for the night, I would just like to say this one thing if I may. For the long suffering readers of Joe's blog, and in the words of David Hewlett... I offer this heartfelt apology.

I sincerely apologise for my actions. Not just to those who have had to endure my ramblings on Joe's blog, but to everyone I have offended with talk of hot, sweaty and semi nekkid Shep. *waves to anon* Please believe me when I say, I have no idea what came over me when I wrote the 'rap' lyrics. I just hope that you can forgive my actions. I say this to you now because I had so much fun, I shall be repeating the torment until my quest has been successful. :o)

And maybe next time there might be a lil rap video for you.... *shakes head at the thought of how bad this could be* Remind me again why I even contemplate doing these things?

*thinks about Shep's chest to get her through this part of the quest*

Will it bring me one step further in my quest? One can only hope! And if Joe, thinks I should go forth, then all hope is not lost ;o)