Phobia

Fear can save you or it can hinder you. I have a couple of fears, but to me there is nothing worse than a visit to the dentist. My heart palpates and I hate it so much that even sitting in the chair feels like a fate worse than death! Yeah, I know, i'm over exaggerating again, but well I wouldn't be me otherwise, would I? ;) For the last few months, I have taken everything available on the market to alleviate my toothache; which includes oil of cloves (which stunk the office out, much to the chagrin of my colleagues) to acupressure. Finally after much cajoling from colleagues, friends and family, I bit the bullet.

Standing outside the dentist surgery, I tried to convince myself that everything was okay and that the pain really wasn't bad... (getting up at 3am to put a pack of cold peas on my cheek didn't even convince me) :P So, there I was, looking through the window contemplating whether to go in or not, the pain, as I said wasn't too bad at that moment. It really had nothing to do with the fact that an hour earlier i'd taken enough pain meds to sink a battleship. Everything was fine, and that's what I kept telling myself over and over again. Finally after ten minutes of walking up to the door then walking away, I relented. That familiar sensation of dread built up and I was ushered into a side room with (I have to say) a very nice dentist. But she made her first mistake by wanting me to sit in the big chair! Was she nuts? She reassured me that she wouldn't do anything that time, so I sat down holding my breath. "You have to actually open your mouth." She told me. Right, I suppose that would help diagnose the problem. But then, she got an instrument out and went to poke it in my mouth. "What are you doing?" I cried out in protest. "I need to tap the tooth to make sure it's still alive." She told me calmly. Trust me the bloody things been killing me for months. I can categorically say that it's alive and out for vengeance!

Putting away the instrument, she then once more proceeded to look inside my mouth. With my heart pounding away, I held my breath for what seemed like an eternity, and then she said "All done, you can breath now." Thank goodness, I was becoming slightly lightheaded. She told me very nicely that I could get out of the chair before I had a heart attack from the fear! Nice lady, she obviously knows me well.

So when she told me that i'd have to have treatment (because i'd left it so long) I was not a happy camper. However, she did assure me that she would sedate me. Bless her little cotton socks. With that, my friend said she'd come with me on the next visit to hold my hand, and make sure I didn't say or do anything stupid. Not that I would of course, but given my healthy obsession with shirtless Shep, I might say a few things i'd regret, especially as she knows nothing about 'The Quest'. Secretly I think she only agreed to come with me, so that she could laugh at things she thought I would say under sedation! Ha! No chance, i've been sedated before and never said anything ridiculous.... Until yesterday.

With a brave face, and Valium taken, my friend came with me yesterday. And it was only today I actually find out all the things i'd said... Apparently even under sedation my fear knows no bounds, as I refused to open my mouth to get the treatment. Well, at least i'm consistent. :o) In the end they apparently had to bring my friend in to co-operate. I'm never going to live that down. After surgery, I was taken into a side room, where my blood pressure rocketed as I once more realised that I was in a dentist chair. Alarmed that my blood pressure was sky high, the dentist told my friend not to worry, as if I was in any danger i'd start fitting! There's a comforting thought! Apparently she (my friend) asked me if I was ok as soon as the alarm bells sounded. The only thing I vaguely recollect is that I remember looking at her, and noticed that she had 3 heads; which surprisingly didn't freak me out, but from her account, it did freak her out, lol. As she panicked, I apparently found the whole thing hilarious and began giggling like a school girl at my three headed friend and the two headed doctor. I think the fact that I wasn't freaked out by my friend having several heads means I might be watching too much Sci-Fi. But, it has to be said, it could potentially hold me in good stead if we're ever approached by ET! ;)

So, as I recovered slightly and headed out to pay, with my friend holding me up. The lady told me the cost and I handed over a £20 note. It's £200, not £20 she told me. I remember looking at the note, and I definitely saw a £200 note. Now, in my defence I know there is no £200 in circulation, but she could have at least humoured me until I came back to reality!

I still even now have no idea how I got home or what else was said, but my friend has been having lots of fun today telling staff about my little escapades. I'll have to try and find a way to get my own back now!

That's one thing i'd love to see in SGA S4... No not someone going to the dentist, but a phobia of some sorts. Sheppard is the perfect choice to explore this, with his fear and loathing of bugs. And who knows we might get to see him go a bit nuts and lose it for a while. I don't think having a hero lose it, takes away anything from the character, or makes them any less heroic. In fact the opposite is true, as it makes them more human, and people can identify with those feelings and fears to some degree. So i'm going to keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. Mr M, if you ever read this, please can we have Shep not be the hero and losing the plot.... and on that subject maybe he could lose his shirt at the same time. *puts on her most cheekiest of expressions* ;o)

Race for life

Oh my, I have rambled on a bit. So as usual, go pee then grab yourself a beverage, you might be a while. Sorry. Some people are suspicious when it's Friday the 13th, and I am one of those people. Everything was going swimmingly without any problems on this fateful day. For a whole 6 hours I thought i'd escaped the curse. Alas it was not to be. As I left work early to attend a friend's leaving do, we had a late lunch at a lovely restaurant while a few of us stayed behind to gossip, as our remaining co-workers trundled back to the office. So there we were, having a good old chinwag about the goings on, and we find out that certain people are having an affair right under our very noses. One of whom was under me! Thankfully not literally, as he's a bit of a weasel. That same person was whom was sent to assist me. As it turned out, all the times he kept disappearing was to see her. It all makes sense now. I asked my new boss (apparently my old one became too exasperated with me... I wonder why?) *puts on her most innocent expression* So anyway, I asked my new boss why if they new these shenanigans were going on, that she put 'him' with me. 'Well I knew you could sort him out!' I never realised I had such a reputation!

After our gossip session ended we headed out to the pub, but I left early to get some last minute things for the race. Heading off I got what was necessary and headed to the till, only to have my card rejected. The first time, could simply have been an error, and as the queue formed behind me, I tried to hide my embarrassment once more as it failed to go through a second and third time. Shocked and appalled I took out 'old faithful' my mom's credit card. Thankfully it worked and I left the shop with heavy heart.

To try and sort this problem out, I headed to the bank whereby I waited for 30 minutes to see someone about this predicament. After too long a wait it turns out it was their error and they'd inadvertently cancelled my card as it was due to expire. Nice of them to let me know! So with about £1.50 in my purse I still hadn't acquired what I needed. A very necessary item called a 'stopemfloppin' for the race. Heading into town, I headed for the lingerie department whereby I was greeted by a very... excitable assistant, who was very nice, but a bit too fond of playing with things that she had no business playing with! All under the guise of 'helping me' find that perfect 'stopemfloppin'. In the end, I told her that it had been some time since someone had helped me dress and that I could manage perfectly well, thank you, before making a hasty retreat.

As I headed for the train home, I learned the trains were cancelled due to a fallen tree, and that I would have to get onto a replacement bus. No problem you'd think wouldn't you? But this is me, and my life is never that straight forward. So after being delayed for an hour already, I got told by the train driver that instead of getting a replacement bus, I could wait for a few minutes until the next train was due (as they'd just about finished clearing the track). Sweet. So, I waited. Then said stupid driver said he was only having a laugh and that we could be waiting a while. We'll see how much he's laughing when his boss finds out! So, by the time I got to where the buses were supposed to be, they had all left and I was left stranded; with pittance in my pocket and no money in my phone. Great! I headed for the bus stop with a hand full of coppers in my purse (that's nickel's and dimes to the US folk). And hope that i'd have enough money to get home. "£2.35" said the bus driver. Crap. He obviously must have seen my face and said, how much have you got on you? "How far will £1.50 take me?" I asked him, thinking I might have to walk the rest of the way. Bless that man's heart, he obviously took pity on me and accepted what I had. And finally I was on my way home after 2 1/2 hours on a journey that takes 15 minutes tops!

For those that haven't given up reading... sorry i'm a bit long- winded today. :o) I completed my Race for life today and raised £164 for Cancer research (see previous blog on the trial and suffering of Cheeky's quest) :P

I've been excitable about this race for months, purely because people have said that there was no way I would have finished the race with all my medical problems. Ha! They obviously don't know me when i'm on a mission... or on a quest. :P The chunky one in pink (thanks to the steroids) is me. Now 5km may not seem a lot to some people, but to me it's like running a marathon, as on good days I struggle to walk up a flight of steps. BUT, when Cheeky is on a quest, pain knows no bounds. *g* I have wanted to do this race for a couple of years now, since my dad and my auntie died of cancer. And I finally got the opportunity. Seeing everyone (2000 women participating) and all the reasons they were running (signs on their backs saying whom they are racing for), did make me emotional before the race. But, I held it together, and with the Rocky Theme tune, and Walk a thousand miles blasting away on my stereo, I was determined to finish it, even if it was on my hands and knees. My best time so far had been 1 hour and ten minutes, and that was (I thought) a fluke, because I was pissed off! Lol. So for the last week i've been trying to get the staff to make me angry to get my mojo going. So between that and the whole day before fiasco, I set off. My friend and her mom were running and were going to meet me at the finish line. A few times along the way I did get a bit upset, so many memories, and feelings go through you when you do something like this. But with my dad with me (so to speak) nothing would stop me. As the Rocky theme belted out I finally saw the finish line in my sights, a good friend spurred me on for the last 10 minutes shouting encouragement from the sidelines. Bless his little cotton socks. Finally I saw the 'finish line' banner and my friends waiting to cheer me on. Excited at seeing them I turned round to wave them thanks and tripped over my own two feet! Did I mention that I was a klutz? Recovering in quick style I sprinted towards the finish line to get my medal and much needed water and was overjoyed at my time of 57 minutes!

Surprised and delighted to have actually finished, I couldn't believe how I held it together, that was until my friends came over to tell me how proud my Dad would have been. Hello floodgates! Lol. We hugged for several minutes remembering why we were racing. My friend who had lost her nan, my other friend who had lost her mom, and me losing my Dad and Aunty. As we cheered the last walkers on, we couldn't stop grinning like Cheshire cats. Gasping for liquid refreshments we headed for the pub for ten minutes, until we all began to seize up, and then it was time to say goodbye to each other and have another cry.

I'm apparently being hoodwinked to do a Santa run in December and am expected to beat my time. That should be very interesting! As I sit here typing up my blog, every muscle aches, but it's a good ache if you know what I mean. So with whumping myself today, and a dentist visit on Tuesday *grabs the Valium* It must be whump Cheeky week. So on researching 'quests' it did fortell that I would have to overcome obstacles and the like. Thankfully I didn't have to jump over the fences at Aintree racecourse as part of my quest. ;) But phase II continues for Shirtless Shep. I hope it's all worth it in the end... Oh my I can't believe that came out of my mouth! Ignore me it must be the medication making me normal. :P

*kicks blog*

Attack of the bog

As some of you know, i've been training for the Race for life for some months now. And each week i've been spending some quality time at the beach running *cough*walking*cough* to get fit for the 5km race. Alas, my training has not exactly been that great, and quite frequently I become distracted either by the seashells, or the fact that the tide has started to close in behind me. Fortunately i've always managed to escape with my life. Today I nearly lost more than my life... Who would have thought walking on the beach could be so hazardous!

Picture this....

There I was, walking the walk, with my MP3 player blasting and not a soul in sight (or should I say sole? :P). The beach is deserted and the heavy rain has just managed to stay away. The sky is dark and overcast, droplets of rain are splashing onto the many puddles beneath my feet. My trousers and trainers become drenched with sea water as I try unsuccessfully to evade to water pools. Nevertheless, I bravely soldier on, with mobile phone (just in case).

So today, I wasn't feeling particularly energetic, and I have to say, I was struggling to do the whole 5km. Weary and with heavy heart and not reaching my target, I headed back to the mainland. Once more evading the hoards of jellyfish that littered my path... and by jelly fish, I am actually referring to seaweed, but jellyfish does seem more dramatic. :P

*cough*

So, as the storm clouds ebb and float away as i'm nearing the 'finish line' so to speak, the Rocky theme starts to play on my MP3 player. This song motivates all my senses and I feel the adrenaline bursting through my veins, subconsciously spurring me on to finish the 'last lap' in style. As I miraculously avoid the swirling water, I head inland to the grassy knoll's embedded by streams of sand and water. And prepare to do a Rocky! But instead of climbing the steps, my biggest feat is actually jumping over mounds of grass and dirt not more than half a foot deep. As the song reaches it's peak, so do I, and feel myself 'flying' over the stumps. Suddenly and obviously due to my getting carried away, I find myself falling off the clump of dirt and land in a quagmire. That familiar sound of vacuum sucking at your trainers as your feet are sinking in the mud. In panic mode, I flail my arms like a windmill as to not fall backwards. Okay why do people do this? It's not pretty and to be honest makes you look a bit ridiculous! I mean it's not as if that exuberant flailing of the arms will a) stop you from falling b) make the wind current from your flying arms rush up to cushion your fall... Yet I still did it!

So, there I was, trainers being sucked into the mud without anyone around to assist me. I panicked slightly.. yes I admit it. How the heck do I get myself out of this. As my sinking stabilised and the adrenaline coursed through my veins, I thought about how the hell to get out of this predicament before the tide came in. Then it hit me, like a thunderbolt. A plan, it wasn't a great one, mind you, but it was all I had. So I gathered all the energy I could muster and prepared myself for the worse... the worse of course being me falling on my ass!

*insert dramatic music for effect*

I flexed my knees in readiness, then lifted my foot out of the quagmire! It worked! I smiled in relief as I gently lifted my other foot; clinging onto the shoe for dear life with my toes, so they wouldn't get left behind and headed inland once more!

As I neared the entrance to where I parked the car, and immediately spotted several horses. My first thought was, they're obviously there to help me on my quest. :P So that must mean that i'm onto phase two! And getting stuck was my second test. So, once more, I must mount my trusty stead and ride roughshod... not over the minions this time, but over the quagmire in search for Shirtless Shep. Wish me luck! ;)

So the moral of the story is, "Don't get too over zealous when listening to the Rocky theme tune!" ;o)

I'm becoming a techno geek

As some of you know, work is extremely hectic at the moment with long hours and little to no thanks. Lately it feels as if I should be dragging my duvet and pillow into work and crawling under the desk with the amount of hours i've been putting in. Staff are now getting concerned as I seem to be the first in and last to leave... now don't get me wrong i'm as dedicated as the next person, but all work and no play makes Cheeky a very boring individual. And I think my lot are starting to feel quite concerned, hence the article I was sent in work today. Maybe they're trying to tell me something? ;) Anyway, I have taken note of their concern and so has my co-manager. We've been working long hours and are both ready for a break! He's off to Canada, Burnaby, no less *insert the green eyed monster*. As for me, i'm planning to reward myself with a week off to. I did offer to carry his bags for him, but he wasn't having any of it. *sigh* One day....

So when staff got wind that we were both going to be off, all I heard was, "Yeah, Mom and Dad are going away, let's have a party!" Hello? Mom and Dad? I wasn't quite sure how to take it to be honest. I think it was a compliment, although with them you never know! Insults are in our team are par for the course, and is meant as a term of endearment. So, I think i'll take it as a compliment.

As you know, the move around our office has resulted in a girls v boys scenario, and yours truly has this week had to suffer inordinate amount of smut talk all week. And have lived to tell the tale! But it has to be said, the conversation is never dull, who would have thought you could go from discussing relativity and the origins of the universe to vomiting and diarrhoea within 3 minutes! I now know all I need to know about men and their wonderful toilet habits. Thanks guys! Needless to say with all the burping and farting going on, on our table, i'm just grateful that i've got a particularly powerful perfume to mask those.... um.. Never mind!

Over the last few months, i've been watching the workman attempting to create a piece of art, near an old abandoned building. Whether it's for the Capital of Culture 2008, i'm not quite sure, but it is unique! As you can see from the video clip, engineers cut a circle into the front of the building and rotated it inside out. The artist is sculptor Richard Wilson, has for the tidy sum of £450, ooo created this unique... Art, shall we say. The craftmanship and engineering design is wonderfully executed, but did it make the impact that everyone was expecting it to? I'm not too sure. The artist chose a run down building near the train station to show off his artwork, but I can't help thinking it might have been more effective on a nicer looking building! As for the price tag, well i'm sure that there are a few places in Liverpool that could have utilised the money more effectively... but then what do I know! For those that want to see it, you can find it directly opposite Moorfields station.

Out of the shadows

Well, as usual I am in a rambling mood, more long-winded than normal! There's a shocker. So for those with weak bladders, go pee! Then grab a beverage and pull up a chair. Make yourself comfy I will be a while. :o)

So, Vengeance aired on Friday night in the US, the penultimate episode of Season 3. Vengeance, Submersion and First strike's ratings will apparently dictate whether fans will get season 5 or not. Whether I like it or not, executives will make a finding of whether to renew the show based on the latter parts of S3, which personally I found preposterous. After all the shake up SGA has had over the last few months, I would hope that logic would dictate somewhat as to wait a few months until S4 starts airing. And hope that will show a more reflective figure of the SGA viewers.

Like most fans on the net these days, I do tend to download the eps airing, not because I want the show to fail... far from it. I'm hoping against all odds that SGA will stand up on it's own two feet and to step being the ugly duckling. My reasons for downloading the eps, are selfish, in that I can't wait a further 4 months or so after it was initially aired elsewhere. I'm not that patient! Does it mean I won't watch again when it airs in my own country? Or buy the DVD's? Of course not. And a lot of fans I speak to are of the same mind. So personally I don't feel as if the lower than average ratings for SGA are due to downloads, but are as a result of an improvement in technology. And until such a time as advertisers and executives realise that we are now living in the 21st century and that there previous methods of detecting ratings are outdated, then shows such as this will potential fall through the cracks and be cancelled!

I know there are those saying they won't watch. for reasons I can completely understand. To them, their favourite show has changed to a point where they feel as if it won't be 'their show' anymore. I get that, really I do. Some of those people are already saying they won't watch, and it could potentially have an impact on the ratings in the long term. But, what I find completely bizarre and will probably never understand is, that they're saying that since they heard that these characters are leaving or being made reoccurring then it automatically infers that it's not their show anymore, without even seeing how the changes in cast will be reflected in the new season. They may actually find that these 'core changes' could improve things, or that the quality of those characters coming back will enhance their enjoyment, because the eps they return in, could very well be centered around them or on them. Instead though, we are to endure the endless negativity of said posters for the foreseeable future.

Now don't get me wrong, i'm all for people having an opinion, be it positive or negative. For me those it's how they word their points of view and what tone they use. Some posts i've seen are just down right inflammatory and rude! Now though it doesn't seem to be centered on the loss of those characters, or the gap their role will leave behind. For some reason some people have taken it upon themselves to bash the whole fandom, be it SG1 or SGA... for reasons known only to them.

Well, I have an inkling of why they behave the way they do. They are miserable! And since misery loves company, they believe everyone should be as unhappy as they are. They're jealous, bitter and twisted because their [insert character/pairing/show] has been disrupted, and they want things back as they were. So they're going to throw a tantrum and make as much noise as humanly possible to ensure their voices are heard. The more vitriolic they are, the more outraged others become, and it spurs them on; because in a sense we're fuelling the fire. Normally I will hold my tongue and try and see things from other people's perspectives. But you know what? It's at the point now where I want to tell those 'vitriolic posters' to piss off and stop whinging, because they're making me lose my temper. And woe betide anyone who makes me lose my temper. It takes at least ten years for me to get to that stage so i'm not due a rampant outrage for at least another 7 years! :P And it has to be said, they won't like me when i'm angry! I am not a nice person. I'm like the incredible hulk when I lose my temper, hehehe. Not a pretty sight.

The thing is, JM has already said Beckett is coming back for a few eps, so is Weir. But, by not watching the episodes where they're not in it or not watching it all, because they want more. Then they're effectively cutting their noses of to spite their face. If they don't watch S3 and S4 then the hope that 'their show' will come back will not become a reality, because the show will be cancelled. If that happens I can guarantee there will be one or two that will gloat! You know what though, i've never been one to let other people get me down for more that a few hours so...

*grabs her jug of happiness and tops her glass up*

My spidey sense says that there will be a season 5, and i'm very rarely wrong on that score. But just to make sure i'll keep everything crossed! Anyway enough doom and gloom onto the goodies. I've not reviewed Submersion... *hangs head in shame* But let's face it Sheppard wet AND whumped how could that episode fail in my eyes. :o) I would say this though, as a slight criticism, Shep should have gotten out of those wet clothes, poor man could have gotten hypothermia!

*looks at what she's written*

Hmmm, as a whumper, should I be complaining at the possibly of Shep becoming all hot and feverish and needing icing down in a cold bath? I only say this as it could have been integral to the plot. :P


Moving swiftly on!

Vengeance... there were so many things that I adored about this ep, right from the start. At the initial opening we see Ronon teaching Rodney how to bantu fight. It really was a classic moment. With Rodney attempting to be brave with what looked like a shield around his stomach and dressed up in his karate gui (which i'm assuming he acquired it off the set of ADB) hehehe, Cheeky lil Devil. Throughout the episode, fans were rewarded with some great team and character moments, with the stage set in some abandoned building complete with slime oozing down the wall. Coupled with a dark dank atmosphere, this episode had all the hallmarks of a great 45 minutes worth of entertainment and it didn't disappoint at all. It had action, intensity, mind whump and team moments galore, and i'm sure it's going to be up there with the best of S3!

So what did I love in particular?

• Ronon and Rodney sparring ( I loved seeing them build on their friendship from TOR)
• Nice to see continuity (The super volcano people)
• Shep mind whump with the bugs (Squeeeeeee, I loved that he didn't take his eyes of the bug the whole time he was in that room with it!)
• Blowing up the bugs and Rodney's comments of "Did you use enough dynamite their butch!" *giggles*
• Teyla and Michael's moments
• Sheppard's "I hate those bugs" hehehe, i'd love to see that built up on in S4.
• Ronon calling Sheppard 'John' and disagreeing with him. (For me it shows how far the character has come and that he's now settled in the team).
• The whump! (Only criticism) We need more blood... Don't shake your head that i've said it, we need it for authenticity. :D

Well i'd be here all day, and i've rambled on enough. I'm hoping that the writers will play on Sheppard's fears more in S4, and allow his character to show a bit of fragility. I will continue to squee with delight at the forthcoming eps, and only hope that the air date is sooner than the fall.

As for the quest for shirtless Shep... well, I think i'm still on 'the testing of Cheeky's patience' at the moment. But, it's still early days, so I think i'm right on course. :o)

Freaky Friday

Well, the news isn't good. I guess my top wasn't low enough to get me that promotion; damn that new clothing attire policy! Either that, or the woman got jealous that my boobs were bigger than hers and she didn't want the competition! ;) Or maybe the interviewers found out that I loved Stargate and would most likely spend the day watching SGA and SG1 episodes and posting on GW as opposed to actually doing the work that I was going to be paid to do? :D Would I do that? *tries to look as innocent as possible*

So today in work was pretty eventful as always, with silliness afoot. What can I say, it's like freaky Friday some days in work... For those reading on a Saturday, no I haven't got my days mixed up, I just needed to get a dongle. And for those non tech savvy amongst us, please raise your hand.. I see you. *waves* Well, for the record, it's nothing rude. When my co-manager advised me that I needed to get a dongle, you can imagine where my brain went... His smut talk is worse than mine normally, and I thought because he knows i'm single that he was suggesting something very naughty... and well.... *cough* You catch my drift.

So anyway, swiftly moving on…

This dongle apparently allows you to 'zap' (that's the technical term by the way) stuff from your mobile to your PC and it instantaneously appears on your computer. Why am I telling you all of this? Well there were quite a few shenanigans in the office today and I wanted to post the pics, but couldn't, due to my not having a dongle.. until tomorrow, when I shall purchase my newest acquisition and have a play.

What was I saying? Oh yes, shenanigans! We've had a move around the office today and for some reason it caused a bit of hilarity. It started off like any normal day in the office, when it was decided that we would have a move around. But you know what that's like... it's like school, with people saying I don't want to sit with so and so... I swear they're worse than teenagers. So we did this in the most diplomatic way possible; we put all the names in the hat and coordinated them with desks and had a special drawing for the occasion. As it worked out, the seating plan resulted in a girls v boys type of set up (completely unintentional). But it means yours truly is now a rose between the thorns and I will no doubt be subjected to talk of boobs, butts and football for the foreseeable future. And let me assure you it's already begun. After lunch I found the boys huddled round in a semi circle like women at a coffee morning... and they say women gossip?

The move around took place later on in the day, and began with staff having 'chicken races' with their respective pedestals. The said moving of pedestals resulted in items being found behind the desks.. items which included a very scary black ski mask, and a porno DVD... I'm not quite sure of the title, but my co-manager is keeping the cover... for reasons known only to him! Staff have obviously strenuously denied that the apparel belong to them, but a ski mask and porno? I don't know about you, but I know what my thoughts were... *wonders if she can get hold of the security tapes* :P

As some of the girls got their stuffed animals and plastic...reptiles settled on their new desks, (don't ask) one of the lads decided to have a little fun while the girls were at lunch. I knew nothing about what happened and only became aware of the 'incident' after 'said' lad went on an interview and the girls had come back to lunch. A gasp of horror escaped their lips so I went over to investigate. It turns out one of the girls plastic reptiles, Lenny as he's affectionately known, had been... *struggles to find the words* ...violated, shall we say! Shocked and appalled the girls decided to retaliate, by stealing the lad's... 'voodoo doll'... and subsequently held the 'doll' for ransom, as pictured above...

Alas I was not around to see the start of the negotiations, but I look forward to a full report on Monday morning. Just to let you know the blog seems to be a bit screwy on the formatting today...not quite sure why. Perhaps it's the level of smut on this post?

*muses*

I wouldn't mind, but i've not even mentioned a certain Lieutenant Colonel's chest, so it can't be that smutty. ;)

The interview to end all interviews

I think today was 'let's make Cheeky squirm'. Today was the day, I had my second phase promotion interview. I'd passed the first one, and today was meeting other board members to discuss my evaluation form and how I performed against certain competencies. They'd managed to whittle the applicants down from 120 people to 30, so I was pleased to get as far as I have. Whether I'll get my promotion is another matter. I'm not normally a nervous person (by any stretch of the imagination), but there are times when I can talk...excessively, more so than normal when i'm nervous. I know that must come as a shock to all of you as I'm normally so reserved. But yes, it's true; Cheeky can be a chatterbox.

So, with my interview being held today, I thought it was time to don a skirt, tights and heels; the whole kit and caboodle. Now, I'm not really a 'girly girl' and I would rather spend my time paint balling than going shopping and getting my hair done. But, needs must and all that, so i'd prepared my clothing attire ahead of schedule. Top - not too revealing, but just enough to flaunt my assets. My mom is a big believer of 'if you've got it, flaunt it'. The skirt was knee length which covered the essentials as mom would say, but I've never felt so uncomfortable. Give me a pair of jeans or trousers and i'm content. Put me in a dress or a skirt and it's 'how the hell do I make sure I don't show my knickers in public' type of scenario. I've sought assistance on many occasion on how to cross your legs just right, but I tend to look really uncomfortable... and it's not pretty.

Nevertheless, I braved the world with my knee length skirt and got on the train, hoping that no one would sit in front of me, so I wouldn't have to get my leg over... so to speak. In the end I gave up and put my coat over my lap thus failing the lady like test before i'd even begun. As I made my way into work in the rush hour traffic, and to work, making my way eventually to my desk as discreetly as I could. My lot have maybe seen me in a skirt twice in the last couple of years, normally smart attire is for meeting the bigwigs! So, I got just a few feet from my desk, and was about to pat myself on the back by sneaking in without being spotted, but fate had obviously decreed that today wasn't going to be that day. And a loud voice echoed across the office. 'Oh My God you've got legs'! Dagnabit my cover was blown, I turned round to the whistle blower and gave them that look that says, 'you're going to pay for that at your next appraisal'. Needless to say he took no notice. note to self: You may need to threaten them with the whip more often! Within minutes people were looking over to see that I was in fact wearing a skirt. I tend to keep things pretty much close to my chest, so that if i'm unsuccessful, the least people who know about it the better. I really don't need to hear the 'oh i'm sorry', 'better luck next time'. But unfortunately today was not going to be one of those days. Maybe I overdid it with the skirt?

After about twenty minutes of discussing what my interview was about, they made their way back to their seats and allowed me to carry on with my work. They promised faithfully they wouldn't disturb me so that I could concentrate on what I was going to say. No such luck. I swear the same lad came over every ten minutes for two hours! In the end I turned round to my colleague as he approached and said to her, 'it must be the skirt'. Who knew it could have such an effect on a person. She giggled and in response to said giggling he (my stalker for the day) wondered what was so funny. I really couldn't leave it there, so I told him that I didn't realise my showing my legs would have such an effect on him! He crooked his head and took a look at my legs and said, 'did you use a fake tan'? I shook my head in disbelief. They're called tights I told him. He subsequently grunted and forgot his reason for coming to see me. He left and my colleague and I continued to laugh at his expense.

As the time draw nearer, I felt myself chilling, i'd read my application form front to back, right to left. I'd learned the senior management talk aka bull shit to ensure a successful interview. So I was half way there. Now anyone who knows me is fully aware that although I try to toe the party line, I am not now nor ever will be a 'yes sir, no sir three bags full sir'. I've tried it, and just end up feeling nauseous by the sickly kissing of ass. So I tend to give up after about ten minutes, and I end up getting into trouble, or receive 'the look'... *know understands why she has not been promoted in a few years* :P Oh well promotions and money is so overrated anyway.

So i'm called in for interview, head up, chest out, walking tall and being very professional. My mom would be so proud! And after being gestured to the seating area, I take my seat and give a 'hello' to those interviewing me. Can I just say that i'm not a fiddler in an interview. I've been the interviewer and interviewee on sever occasions and up to this point, have never felt the need to 'fiddle with myself' during an interview. I wish the same could be said for the interviewer! She obviously never received the memo about clothing attire! Adorned with what must have been the skimpiest tops of all time, she began.. how can I put this, 'playing with herself' for 40 minutes. Fiddling with her bra straps, pulling at her top, leaning over the desk (well I suppose it shows she was interested in what I had to say). And then started playing with her pendant that kept getting caught up in her cleavage!

This could only happen to me.

Nevertheless, I soldiered on and kept good eye contact throughout until she began bolstering up her boobs! And alas I lost my concentration and began to say the same buzz word at least 5 times in three minutes. I ask you, in response to 'How do you effectively maintain a good working relationship with stakeholders?' I swear I must have used the words, 'it's all about building a foundation' five times.. Oh things were not going well. And the worst thing was, I was telling myself to shut up and use a different word, but alas it was not to be. I continued to use said words at least on 4 other occasions as I internally admonished my brain for talking such crap, I knew I just wanted to get out of the interview as soon as possible. Thankfully the interviewer changed the subject, but I continued to sprout crap and ramble excessively until my mouth suddenly went dry and I found my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. Great! Now the nerves decide to kick in. 'Would you like some water?' At this point I wondered if I could actually hold the cup without spilling the jug of water over the table... reminisce of a previous interview. I politely declined saying that I didn't want to drop the jug with my shaking hands... a little humour to ease the tension. They didn't laugh. Nice professional manner, there Cheeky! Obviously taking pity on me they poured me a glass of water and this allowed me to regain my professional demeanour, and to lubricate my mouth so that it became an oasis in the desert.

After 40 minutes and polite handshakes and thanks all round I left the interview without so much as a backward glance. So with that wonderful interview out the way, I should hear back as to whether i'm successful or not sometime this week.

Let's just say I won't be holding my breath!