Saturday, 9 May 2009

Caring - An antiquated system

My mom

For the last 5 years, i've had to be involved with medical personel, hospitals, doctors, nurses, social services - the whole kit and kaboodle. After seeing an entry in today's news about an OAP that was killed, it stirred something within me. A fire that's been brewing for a long time.

There has always been disparities within the health system, and nursing care standards, along with the old age post code lottery. For me though my story is probably not disimilar to others out there. My dad was diagnosed with stomach cancer in August 2004, and within 2 months he was dead. During those two months, we had the support of Macmillan nurses, the Queenscourt Hospice in Southport whom were wonderful with dad whilst he was there during his last few weeks. I had support from nurses, doctors, because of the word 'Cancer'. With other people, like my mom who is just 55 years old - a young women whom has Ankyosing Spondylitis, Osteoarthritis, and Osteoporosis, she's unable to feed herself, care for herself and has been bedridden for 3 years, I receive no support. I'm not just talking about monetary support, i'm talking about physical support, emotional support. People's wishes when they're seriously ill and whom are not suffering from cancer appear to be discriminated against. A person with cancer is allowed to die at home and receives such support and services to allow them to fulfill their personal needs. Why then is it so different for people of other illnesses?

My mom is dying slowly, she wants to come home to die, and the only way I can manage to do that is to pay some agency fee of £700 per week, plus the costs of Social services. But because of costs it's too expensive to bring her home, when nursing homes are £500 per week (minimum). So mom has no choice but to stay there against her wishes, against my wishes. Have you ever heard someone cry for years on end because they want to go home? How hard it is to try and say that 'i'm trying'. Working all the hours to try and save that sort of money. For it to be gone within a year. Then what happens after that year when the savings are all gone? They sell their home that they've built their whole life working for.

I know my mom and I aren't the only ones in this position, but too much power is now at the hands of others instead of the needs of the individuals, and it needs to change. Help for carers needs to change. The whole system is so antiqauted that it's no longer fit for purpose. So where do we go from here. How do we stop the discrimination from this point on?

1 comment:

seriouslydisturbed said...

I agree. We got alot of support from Macmillan and they were keen to et dad home, where he wanted to be. Mum got a thousand pound grant if i remember rightly to help her deal with the extra costs and to lighten the burden. But I can see now from what you have said how unfair the health system is what was the slogan when it was set up, better health for all? in this country it comes with a price tag cleary. If I had the money id help you out and i mean it. Thats why my mum refused to go into hospital, she knew she was dying but didnt want that to happen in a hospital. well thats what ive come to believe. About that piece of music. So emotional. So chilling. Put so many pictures in my head, the main one tho, is my mum, sitting in her chair in the 3 years after my dad died, her soulmate gone. The music is raw like her emotions must have been. It makes me feel her lonliness and pain and the anguish of not being able to tell anyone. Very emotive, never heard a piece like it, sent shivers down my back and brough tears to my eyes. Hugs xx