Are you all sitting comfortably, been for a pee break, got your beverages to hand. Well, all that may have been for nothing. :P For once this is going to be short and sweet. I know, so unlike me, but i'm saving myself for my 'bound to be exceptionally long-winded post' tomorrow. That will be the review of the fourth season's Adrift, Lifeline, and Doppleganger (Evil Shep) *squeeeeee* And for another reason, the blogger seems to be hiccupping *kicks blogger*
So to sum things up, I attended my friends wedding, are gay wedding's called 'weddings' or is it just civil ceremony's? *Attempts to be PC and fails miserably* So last Friday, I got exceptionally tiddly and had a great time. At the end of the night, one of the girls (obviously pissed) suggested we go to this really bizarre Pub. "It's horrible." She said. And I want to go somewhere horrible because? She saw my face and tried to reasure me. "No, honestly, the place is so awful, they'll think we're fabulous!" There's nothing like a bit of flattery to build the confidence is there? "So what's this place called then?" I asked hesitantly. "Smokey shit moes!" Someone was having a laugh and I wasn't getting the punch line!
I asked them if they were joking, they said they named it that, because it was that bad!! It just gets better and better, doesn't it? So with some trepidation, I was persuaded to go and check this place out. Let's just say they weren't wrong! The place was buzzing with... something, and the decor was certainly interesting in many ways. As we plucked up courage to go in, I noticed a strange women looking over at us, she looked as if she wanted to punch our lights out. Great start!! Nevertheless we ventured in and got ourselves a drink... mine was a double! Then the girls decided to 'hog' the dancefloor, which actually was just a floor. In record time they'd cleared the dance floor and became 'entertainment' for what appeared to be a fair few... undesirables, shall we say. Oh well, when in Rome!! So I boogied to Dolly Parton's song "9 to 5". Quite apt considering my cleavage had taken on a life of its own. :P
After a few dances, I went to sit down next to where the girls were dancing around their handbags. Alas, I was not alone, as an older gentleman decided that I needed a lap dance... much to the chagrin of his wife!! Mortified was an understatement. I thanked the erotically challenged lap dancer in the only way I knew how, (minds out the gutter) and apologised unreservedly to his wife, (well S4 was starting, and I didn't really want to spend the season in traction). She told me simply that, he does it often. That's really not reasurring me, and to be honest, the drooling was making my dress wet, so I diplomatically shooed him in the direction of my friends, who were giggling at my misfortune!
After 10 minutes of freedom, my 'friend' came back, thankfully it didn't last long as his wife had just about reached her limit, and got hold of him by his ears and hauled him out of the pub!! What a shame!!
Needless to say we all had a ball... no pun intended. And next stop is our trip out at Christmas, for Ghost hunting, riding on the Harry Potter Express, and going back in time. Can you say squeeeeeeeeee? *does her happy dance*