Monday, 19 November 2007

Management - the Cheeky way

As I mentioned a few days ago. I have been promoted to a senior manager. Whether this was fluke or someone took pity on me, i'll never know. Personally I think they promoted the wrong person and today's first day pretty much confirmed that for me. A few of us (including my partner in crime) have been sent on a training course to become the best and the brightest leaders. This course is to last a whole 4 weeks and will apparently include a variety of topics and activities in an effort to get all the managers to utilise their skills and bond with each other ready for the mammoth task ahead.

I'll be honest with you, I was slightly nervous going in, and had no idea what to really expect from my colleagues or the course! Our group consists of several 'executives' who appeared quiet and deadpan. No humour, no smiles, no laughter. These type of courses freak me out. Me being serious for a whole 4 weeks? This was not going to be easy. I had to remain professional at all times as i'm now in a position of power. BUT it's 4 weeks!! I'm never going to last. So our first task involved a pop quiz regarding employment legislation, learning techniques and grievance procedures. A whole 91 questions on the topic. To say I was unprepared would be an understatement. The trainer advised us that this was purely a benchmark exercise. Just as well really, lol, you can't exactly get any worse than being absolutely crap. ;o)

After our test we were asked to draw a pictogram about who we are, what influenced us, what our job entails and what our motto is. And just to make it that much more interesting our big boss decides to tell us that we are 'the cream of the crop'! She might want to take that back at the end of my presentation. :P I told the group that I was *cough* on occasions a bit cheeky and geeky and how much I loved Stargate. My partner in crime kept rolling his eyes as if to say, "Oh no, not again." LOL What was my motto that I live by? Carpe Diem (Seize the day - stolen from Dead Poets Society) One of the best films i've seen! Alas, the only way I knew how to draw that was to draw a picture of a sun, and a hand grabbing it. Let's just say i'll never win any awards for my creativity. ;o)

So our third activity of the day was to design, present and act out a two minute commercial on how to promote out business. This is the point where I lost the plot and had a fit of the giggles for ten minutes solid. In my defence it really wasn't my fault. Anyone seen the show with Les Dawson? It's the one where he dresses up as a woman and keeps hoisting his boobs up whilst pulling funny faces. Well, my partner in crime decided that we (the other girl) and I should be the women and we should hoist our boobs up like Les Dawson Don't ask. LOL Well since I have the attributes, I felt like I could play my part pretty well. I've noticed recently that most topics seem to be about boobs... specifically mine. Then the boys decided that while us women were pretending to play these parts, they would jump up behind us, tap us on the shoulder and then 'flash us'! Yep, you heard me. Complete with mac and dodgy persona, (though obviously.. and thankfully not nekkid.) They planned to sneak up on us and tell us both 'Not to fear' as they'd have the solutions to our problem. I was fine up until the point where 'flashing' would take place (complete with actions, I might add). Well, I lost it at that point and continued my giggling hysterics for about 10 minutes while the others looked on as if this was part of the norm. Their seriousness just had me laughing even more.

So we'd rehearsed through my laughing, up until the point where I was told to 'go and sort myself out'. I can't help it. Once I start laughing, that's usually me gone for a while. People were coming out to see what the raucous was, and why it was having this effect on me; they couldn't wait to see what we'd come up with. Oh the pressure of a performance!! Needless to say, like the consummate professional I am, I held it together for nearly the duration, but what set me off again (oh yes I know I'm childish) Was when one of the lads 'flashed us' he ripped his mac so much that his buttons flung off. After that there really was no going back. :o)

So, with my fate in the group firmly sealed, I think TPTB are thinking of ways of retracting my promotion. I'm not sure if i'm exactly the kind of person they were hoping for. Even if I do get kicked off the course for being a bad influence, at least i'll have had fun along the way!

1 comment:

Pocus said...

LOL!!! I wish you could attend some of the stuffy teacher's continuing education classes I have to take. I might have a shot at enjoying them for a change.

The last one we went to was made memorable by a young lady directly in front of me having her shirt ride up and giving my table a full view of the thong she was wearing. Normally this wouldn't be funny, but just a bit uncomfortable. This time it was a chance for giggles because the young lady was of a rather large size. I am no slim thing myself but I also take care to make sure my underwear choice is not made available to the public at large. We were basically wondering how she did not feel the cold breeze on her back and ...um ...other parts. It was sobering to think that view may have been presented to the children she works with. **shudders**